Prepare for (Volunteer) Loss
When one of my volunteer leaders told me about an upcoming life change, I was excited for her even though it meant she was going to step down from youth ministry. When my second leader told me they also had life changes that would require stepping down, my excitement was not quite as high. When my third leader in so many weeks shared exciting news that would require stepping down, I had to work hard to keep my poker face. Of course, I was happy for each one of them, but losing three quarters of my leaders in the span of a few weeks left me with conflicted emotions. I had spent almost two years working to put this team together and all my work was falling apart.
Every youth pastor knows the experience of losing a volunteer. Losing team members is unavoidable. Volunteers take new jobs, move to new cities, start families, or respond to God’s call to engage in new areas of ministry. From the leader who has been with the youth group for over ten years to the 20-something who has energy to spare, each one is important and their loss is difficult. Sometimes with little or no warning, a person who was investing in the ministry is gone.
Whenever a leader steps down, I am personally affected. My volunteers are my friends. I like to see them regularly and I know that when they step down, we will not spend as much time together anymore. I also know that I will have to spend time to find a replacement—time I would rather spend on pastoring students or planning the fall retreat.
Despite my wishes to the contrary, losing volunteers is inevitable. After walking through many volunteer transitions, I have learned three lessons that help make the inevitable loss easier to manage.
It is okay to be disappointed or have mixed emotions. I have a tendency to try to force my emotions into the shape I think they ought to be in. The problem comes when I think I ought not feel negative emotions. Sadness, anger and disappointment are “bad” emotions that I try to pretend are not there. While there is value in not telegraphing disappointment when a leader shares about a new pregnancy, for example, there is no value in pretending like losing her from the team is not a cause for sadness.
One of the best ways to process disappointment and negative emotions is with a trusted friend. Sometimes I need to tell someone that it really stinks to lose three leaders at once without having to guard my words. I have been blessed by connecting with other youth pastors through events like the Anglican Youth Ministers Gathering. Joining AYMG this year or finding a local youth pastor network in your area may be the best thing you can do for your volunteers. Fellow youth pastors share my passion for youth, Anglican tradition and know the joys and pains of volunteer-based ministry. A call or text to one of them can help me acknowledge, process, and move through my negative feelings.
Intentional friendships in which I can express my feelings help create a space with my volunteers in which I can attend to them and their emotions without needing something from them in return. When I know that my negative feelings will be heard (and empathized with) elsewhere, I can enter into my volunteers experiences, celebrate with them, and also express my sadness positively. Positive sadness is the sadness that says, “I can’t imagine doing this without you. You’ll be missed.” Positive sadness is authentic, encouraging, and life giving.
I am a pastor to the leaders as well as students. My title may be “Youth Pastor” but my pastoral ministry is not limited to the youth. Youth ministry is a helpful distinction when prioritizing my efforts, but I need to remember that the distinction is artificial. There is one Body and my role—while focused on youth—is to serve the Body. It may be “bad” for the youth ministry to encourage someone to step down, but sometimes stepping down is what is good for that person and the church as a whole.
The simplest way I’ve found to pastor my volunteers as they transition is to make it a practice to bless them in whatever new direction God is leading them. God is not done with them even if they are done with youth ministry. Whatever is taking them away, I can be intentional to encourage them and pray a blessing over them.God will provide what is needed. I love to read the latest theological and sociological studies about what students need. One thing that is very clear is that they need adults who love them and invest in their lives. I can get frustrated with God, though, when He does not seem to care about my efforts to apply all that research into our ministry.
Despite how I feel, God knows all the research about adult investment in youth better than I do. He also knows the challenges of being shorthanded for events. He even knows about child protection policies. As Abraham learned when he thought he would lose his son, God will provide (Genesis 22:14). That is who He is and His promise to us.Trusting God for His provision does not mean I have to feel sublime peace when there are not enough volunteers for the lock-in. Instead, I have come to learn that trusting in God’s provision means practicing gratitude even in the midst of the crisis. Even in the midst of panic, I can remember how God has provided in the past and tell those stories to myself and to others. God has provided many times and He will provide again.
As we all grow in our emotional honesty, pastoral hearts and trust in the Lord, our volunteers and students will be blessed and have a renewed vision for the goodness of God.
Johnmark Smith is the Youth Pastor at Church of the Redeemer in Nashville, TN. He is a former missionary kid who blames all of his idiosyncrasies on too much dc Talk at an impressionable age. He graduated from Wheaton College where he studied Christian Formation and Ministry and also met his beautiful wife, Karisa. They have two daughters, Tegan and Harper.