Am I a Good Grandfather?

Recently after church a young mom stopped me to share something that caught me off guard. She said, “I’ve been watching your interaction with your grandsons, and I wanted to say that you are a really good grandpa”. I thanked her for her kind words and thought, well… time will tell if that is true. I’ve only been a grandfather for five years and I feel as though I am just figuring out what that means.

More importantly, I am seeking to discover what all that can and will mean for my grandkids. There is something about the role of a grandfather that can have such a profound impact on kids growing up. I recognize that my own grandfathers influenced who I became. While they were in many ways wonderful grandfathers, I want to be more intentional about the impact I have on my grandchildren.

My primary desire for my grandchildren is that they grow up to know and love the Lord. Fortunately, my (adult) children are all believers and the one who thus far has children is being very intentional about raising them in the faith. This means we get to support and encourage the good work they are doing in raising the grandkids. That still leaves me thinking about how I can make the most of my role as grandpa. There are a few priorities that I hope will help me be the kind of “good grandpa” that I want to be.

First, I want to consistently model an authentic faith in Jesus. My own children grew up with a set of grandparents who did this well. My wife’s parents lived lives that demonstrated a deep faith and devotion to the Lord. It was evident in their lives that daily Bible reading and prayer was the source of their vibrant faith. The church was an integral part of their lives. Just as my children knew of their grandparent’s faith, I want my grandkids to see clear evidence of mine. Kids need to grow up seeing what it looks like to follow Jesus in their later years.

Second, I want to never stop praying for my grandchildren. Less than a year ago, my mother-in-law passed on. As we celebrated her life, many noted that they knew she was praying for her grandchildren daily. All 22 of them by name! When she met with her pastor to plan her funeral a few weeks before she departed, she told him that she had been praying daily for each of her children and grandchildren. What she wanted her grandchildren to hear in her memorial service was a clear proclamation of the gospel.

Third, I want to create memories. While grandkids are blessed by having spiritual role models and grandparents who pray for them, memories are a gift that we can leave with them. When we are not near them and especially once we have gone to the next life, memories are something that will always be cherished. Memories are created by time spent together and sometimes doing things that are not part of the ordinary day. These include outings and adventures but also time spent reading together. We can teach them to fish or cook or garden or build things and make memories doing it. Some memories are serious and others are silly, but all memories are incredibly valuable.

Finally, I want to reflect the love of God the Father in ways that grandfathers can do well. Having raised my three kids, I know it is difficult even for the best of dads to reflect the love of God all the time. As a dad there were times when my patience ran thin, or my fatigue got the better of me. I didn’t always have the wisdom to know whether to be gentle or firm. There are times for all of it but as a grandfather I can err on the side of showing mercy. I have experience and a bit more wisdom now to respond to my grandkids differently than I did as a father.

One of the verses of the Bible that always comes back to me when I least expect (and most need it) is Lamentations 3:22-23 “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” The love of God is described throughout the Old Testament as steadfast and is often coupled with his mercy. Jesus encourages us to “Be merciful, as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36) If I can give my grandkids a taste of the steadfast love and mercy of God, and help them understand that Gods love is infinitely greater and more perfect, I believe it will create a hunger in their hearts to know and love the Lord.